Father’s Day

It is everywhere this weekend.  Happy Father’s Day!  These words to a parent whose child has died can rip through their heart.  They remember when the day meant celebrating with their child all the love and happiness the title brought to them.  After the death of a child, the day becomes a struggle.  A balancing act of sorts, especially if you have other children.

How can we navigate through the day, honoring the love shared while having a hole in our hearts?  Here are a few tips to help you get through the day.

  • Do what makes you feel comfortable.  If you need to decline invitations to picnics and celebrations then do so.  Today is about honoring you and your needs.
  • Spend time with your other children if you have them.  Their love will help fill up your heart.
  • Share special memories of your child with anyone who will listen.
  • Connect with nature.  Go for a walk to clear the mind.  Meditate.
  • Write a letter to your child, make a special meal, start a new tradition, or bask in the familiar.
  • Be kind to yourself.  Do not expect to much.
  • Cry if you need but also allow yourself to laugh when opportunity arises.

If you are a friend of a dad who has lost a child, remember them.  Acknowledge that you can’t imagine their pain on this day.  Share a story of their child if you have one.  A parents fear is that our children will be forgotten.  Mention their name.  You will not hurt us anymore than we are already hurt.  You will not “remind” us that our child died.  We will never forget that.  You will remind us that they lived!

JEFF BOYS353 OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAjaime  jeff077

Happy Fathers Day to My husband who has been an amazing Step Dad to our three boys.  I know he is missing many loved ones this Father’s Day.

Photos left to right:

The boys and Jeff at our wedding 1997!

Jeff, Jaime and Ashton at Jaime’s 30th 2008!

Jeff’s Dad and Jaime 1980

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